Imagine self-esteem as the backbone of your mental and emotional framework. It’s how you perceive and value yourself, which in turn, influences how you navigate life. If you find yourself not able or willing to take risks, if it feels like you often wonder if you are good enough, your self-esteem might need some support. EFT Tapping for self-esteem is a way to get in touch with the core of where these feelings of inadequacy come from, so you can release them and start to really appreciate who you are and transform how you feel about yourself.
What Is Healthy Self-Esteem
Healthy self-esteem is built on three main pillars: self-acceptance, self-love, and a sense of competency. Self-acceptance is about embracing all parts of yourself, the dark and the light. It lets you acknowledge your flaws without letting them define you. Then comes self-love, which is treating yourself with the same kindness and respect that you would offer to others. And lastly, there’s competency, the feeling that you are capable and effective in dealing with life’s challenges.
Your self-image affects how you interact with others, the risks you’re willing to take, and the decisions you make. If you’re brimming with self-esteem, you’re more likely to pursue opportunities and connections that align with your values and aspirations.
But what happens when self-esteem is lacking? It can create a domino effect where insecurities block potential pathways in life. You may be constantly living with limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of you achieving your goals.
The Significance of Fostering Healthy Self-Esteem
Think of healthy self-esteem as the invisible architect of your life’s structure. It’s what informs the choices you make, the boundaries you set, and the dreams you dare to pursue. When you’re confident in your own skin, you tend to see challenges not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities to grow.
Neglecting your self-esteem can have profound consequences beyond what you might expect. It’s not simply about feeling good about yourself; it’s about the ripple effect that your level of confidence has on every aspect of your life. Consider the impact of low self-esteem on mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and even the way you handle stress. The way we see ourself can adversely affect interpersonal relationships, community engagements, and workplace dynamics.
It’s worth nurturing your self-esteem, because when you feel worthwhile and capable, you’re more likely to take risks, seize opportunities, and persist in the face of setbacks, all of which are essential for personal achievement and fulfillment.
This includes your private life, your career, and your social interactions. Imagine walking into a job interview with a sense of assurance, or nurturing relationships where mutual respect is the norm. These aren’t fantasies; they’re real-world outcomes of having a solid sense of self-worth. By prioritizing your self-esteem, you’re setting the groundwork for a life that’s not only successful but is experienced with richness and authenticity.
EFT Tapping as a Tool for Elevating Self-Esteem
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) or Tapping, might sound a little woo woo, but it’s grounded in the ancient principles of Chinese acupressure. It’s a mind-body technique that’s used to optimize emotional health, which in turn, can positively impact your self-esteem. There is more and more research being done on EFT to support it’s efficacy as a personal transformation tool.
So how does EFT tapping work? It involves tapping on specific meridian points on the body while focusing on negative emotions or physical sensations. This combination of tapping the energy meridians while focusing on issues or challenges and/or voicing positive affirmations, it works to clear emotional blockages. It’s like hitting the reset button on your emotional state.
Studies have shown that tapping can significantly decrease the symptoms of anxiety and depression, which are often the bedfellows of low self-esteem. By reducing these symptoms, EFT creates space for more positive feelings about oneself to take root.
Many people have shared their success stories, attesting to the transformative power of EFT in boosting their self-worth. These are not just testimonials; they’re real-life examples of how tapping has helped individuals replace their self-critical dialogues with more compassionate and affirming narratives.
Tapping isn’t just about shifting in the moment, although it is a great tool for that as well, but it can have long-lasting effects on your overall self-view. As you release and replace the negative emotions that have tethered you down, you start to see yourself in a new light. And that’s pivotal to building a healthier self-esteem.
EFT Tapping in Practice: Setting up for Success
Now that we’ve covered how EFT can be an instrumental tool in building self-esteem, you’re probably eager to get started. Before you begin your tapping journey, it’s important to create a supportive environment for yourself. Choose a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed. It’s also helpful to be in a receptive state of mind, open to the process and its potential benefits.
Crafting effective setup statements is crucial in EFT, as these are the phrases that will target your personal self-worth issues. When creating these statements, focus on honesty and how you truly feel about yourself. It might be uncomfortable at first, but addressing these negative emotions is a necessary step toward healing and building stronger self-esteem.
The first thing we want to do is familiarize yourself with the tapping points, if you need a refresher, click here to go to my article on how to tap.
Next we want to develop a set up statement:
The more specific the better. For example, a setup statement might look like this: ‘Even though I struggle to accept myself as I am, I am choosing to deeply and completely love and accept myself.’ This is a general statement that will give you some relief and a good place to start.
However, an even better setup statement might be something that you heard as a child that made you feel less than.
Example – “Even though I was always picked last for dodgeball in school and felt like I wasn’t good enough, I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself”
Or “Even though the kids in my 4th grade class called me a loser and I felt like one, I love and accept myself.”
Rate the feeling associated with the statement from 0 to 10, with 0 meaning doesn’t bother me, 10 means a high level of emotion.
By acknowledging the problem and affirming self-acceptance simultaneously, you’re preparing your mind and body to release these limitations.
Once you have your setup statements, you’ll integrate them into your EFT tapping routine. Start by tapping on the karate chop point of your hand while reciting your setup statement three times. After that, follow with a sequence of tapping through the various EFT points while focusing on the feeling, “felt like I wasn’t good enough” or “felt like a loser.”
Do several rounds through the points and check in and see how strong the feeling is on the 0 to 10 scale. Keep tapping until you can get it down to at least a 2 or less, preferably all the way to 0.
Sample Tapping Script For Self Esteem
Following is a sample tapping script, you can use it as a guide. Replace the words that don’t resonate with you for ones that may fit better, or tap along with it as is.
KC: Even though my Dad called me lazy and said I couldn’t do anything right, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
KC: Even though my Dad called me lazy and said I couldn’t do anything right, I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my feelings.
KC: Even though my Dad called me lazy and said I couldn’t do anything right, I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my feelings.
EB: I believed I was lazy
SE: I believed I couldn’t do anything right
UE: Feeling lazy
UN: Not good enough
CP: I must have been lazy
CB: Maybe I can’t do anything right
UA: I believed him
TH: He said I couldn’t do anything right
EB: It made ne feel less than
SE: I felt small and bad about myself
UE: What if it is true and I am not good enough
UN: I believed him
CP: I’m not enough
CB: Sometimes I still feel like it is true
UA: Sometimes I still feel like I can’t do anything right
TH: Not good enough
(Go through the above sequence 3 or 4 times, until it feels lower – when it is 4 or less go on to the next part)
EB: I’m choosing to let this belief go
SE: I am good enough at many things
UE: I don’t know why he said those things but I am no longer believing he was right
UN: The younger part of me didn’t know any better and believed he was telling me the truth, but I am ready to let that go
CP: I want to treat my younger self with more love and compassion, I know they were doing the best that they could
CB: It hurt to hear those things then, and it is safe for me to let them go now
UA: I am choosing to believe that I am good enough, that I do things well
TH: I am open to the belief that he was wrong and I am enough just as I am
EB: I choose to be okay with being human and imperfect
SE: I choose to believe that others will see me as good enough
UE: I choose to believe in myself
UN: I choose to believe I am perfectly imperfect, and that is okay
CP: I choose to let go of self criticism
CB: I choose to let go of past beliefs that no longer serve me
UA: I choose to believe that who I am is enough
TH: I am choosing to treat myself with love and self-compassion moving forward
(Go through several more times, add in thoughts from your past to really have this resonate with your feelings.)
Conclusion
Remember, consistency is key in EFT tapping, just as with any self-improvement practice. Aim to include tapping in your daily routine, and be patient with yourself as you navigate this process. Change your setup statements as your feelings and beliefs about yourself continue to surface. It may be helpful to write out several memories from the past that really hurt or fueled some of the negative self beliefs. As you resolve one, move onto the next one.
Lastly, keep track of your journey. You might want to journal about your experiences or check in with yourself regularly to assess your feelings of self-worth. Seeing your progress can be incredibly motivating and affirming. As you work with EFT tapping to build your self-esteem, keep in mind that every single step, no matter how small, is a stride toward a more confident and self-assured you.