I use EFT or Tapping frequently with my clients and although they find value from using it many of them don’t continue to do it on their own. The reason they give me is that they just don’t know what to say. I am going to give you some tips on creating you own EFT scripts. It is such an effective self-help tool and I encourage you to play with it until you become comfortable with it.
STEP 1 – Identify The Problem
Before you even start tapping it is necessary to come up with the specific thing you want to tap on. So identify a specific problem. Let’s start with a general problem like public speaking.
A general tapping statement such as “even though I get nervous speaking in front of others” would not be as effective as thinking of the last time you were in that situation and identifying all the aspects of it.
Getting nervous about public speaking is the major issue, but when you break it down the different aspects might include more than just nervousness. You might be embarrassed because your voice gets shaky, or you feel your hands getting sweaty, or thoughts like, I’m worried I will stumble over my words or forget what I need to say completely.
As you break it down make a list of the feelings, why this is a problem (example – my work requires that I need to do this so I have to get over this feeling). Go back to a time when you remember an actual situation where you had to do a speech or a presentation.
Step 2 – BREAK IT DOWN
So you have started to think about why this is a problem and how you feel.
Now make a list:
How do you know this is a problem? (I get almost immobilized before standing on stage, I need to do this for my job)
What are the emotions involved? (Anxiety, fear, embarrassment, frustration, overwhelm)
What are the sights, sounds, images? (The lights glaring on me, people looking at me, the sound of my shaky voice)
Where do you feel it in your body? (Tense, sweaty, heaviness, tightness in my throat)
What do you believe to be true? (I will never be able to do this, I am not any good at this, No one really cares what I have to say)
Identify the intensity – On a scale from 1 to 10 how intense are your feelings about this with 10 being the worst you could feel?
Write it all out and once you have your lists, you now have some statements that you can start to tap on.
Step 3 – Set Up Statement, and reminder phrase
You can choose to start with any of these aspects, but for this example let’s start at the beginning with “I get immobilized before standing on stage”. What is your SUDs level? Create your statement and reminder phrase.
1. Setup Statement – “Even though I get immobilized before standing on stage, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
2. Use “this immobilized feeling” as your reminder phrase as you go through the points.
Just keep it simple. Think about the time you were standing on stage public speaking to stay tuned into the feelings as you go through the points. Go through a few rounds and see if the SUDs level comes down.
Step 4 – There’s A Little More To Do
Once you get it down to a 4 or less you can start to add in some positive statements.
For instance, you could make it softer and remind yourself;
“even though I get nervous and feel immobilized about public speaking I know I am not going to pass out, I am still safe“, or “I know that after a few minutes I start to feel calmer.”
You could also add in something like “I am open to the possibility that I can feel calmer about public speaking.”
Once that feels better you can move onto another aspect that you identified.
The Main Points To Remember
Keep it simple. No need to get fancy or add a lot of different statements.
Keep at it. It may take 15 or 20 minutes to make one of the aspects get down to a 0 SUDs level. It may take several sessions to get through something that has a lot of emotion or multiple memories, but persistence will really help.
Go to my EFT post for a Tapping Refresher.
The Basic Set Up Is Simple
One more time, keep it simple.
1. The basic set up – “Even though I have this problem (fill in this problem with the issue), I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
2. The idea is to get as specific as possible. A general Even though I have the feeling of overwhelm, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, might help you feel a little calmer but probably won’t completely clear what is going on.
3. Go a little deeper, try to get to the core. Where is the overwhelm coming from, what is the perceived stressor or trigger, how strong is the sense of overwhelm, is that it, or are you feeling hopeless as well.
Examples of general to more specific might be;
“Even though I feel so overwhelmed when I think of giving a presentation to my coworkers, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.”
Reminder Phrase – “This feeling of overwhelm.”
4. The next round may be on the hopeless feeling that comes up: “Even though it feels like I will never be any good at giving presentations because I get so nervous speaking in front of others, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” (Try to get to all the aspects to clear the issue).
Reminder Phrase: “This sense of hopelessness“, or :”This feeling of insecurity”
Just keep going through the points focused on the memory and the emotion while repeating either one or both of those phrases and you can still clear the negative emotion.
The great thing about tapping, you can’t get it wrong, it doesn’t have to be fancy and it will still work. As long as you stay focused on the problem you will eventually make some movement. You may have to tweak things a bit to get better/quicker results, but that will come with practice.
One More Suggestion
If saying “I love and accept myself” is too much, substitute “I am open to loving and accepting myself“, or “I choose to love and accept myself.”
You can also use statements like
I give myself permission to ….
EX: “I give myself permission to relax around this subject just for today.”
I am open to the possibility …..
EX: “I am open to the possibility that I can forgive myself and others that I blame for this situation.”
I am hopeful that ….
EX: “I am hopeful that with practice I will feel more confident speaking up in social situations.”
Phrases like this can open the space for change, and they are a little softer and easier to accept.
Relax into it, get playful and creative, you can’t do it wrong.
And finally, it may be helpful to record yourself and then listen to it and tap along.